Reality vs. Dating Sites

In the ever growing world of the internet the dating scene has become a monster with websites such as Match.com, PlentyOfFish.com and many others receiving millions of dating hopefuls using their services per month. So we are going to take a look at why people use dating sites and are they healthy.

Dating sites are built around conditional love and everyone is guilty of it when it comes to the internet. In fact let me back track, conditional love isn’t strong enough, it’s built around ’purely conditional’ love. Women can’t help but screen a man for everything he has and doesn’t have. So if your looking to use a dating site be prepared to be judged solely on your profile and not you as a human being, its the way the internet works, it’s an impersonalised and unsociable way of meeting ‘new’ people. It’s not just women either, men are exactly the same with online dating, its a prejudgemental game of efficiency and it’s how online dating works.

Now compare that to meeting and charming a girl in real life, when that connection suddenley happens, when the chemistry flows, when she’s caught up in the moment with you do you think she is suddenley thinking about what job you do, how much money you earn, who your friends are, what kind of life you lead? Maybe so, but it’s hardly the most pressing matter on her mind, she’s more interested in what you have to say there and then…

She cares more about you and her in the moment and enjoying the interaction…This allows you to get one foot in the door and give yourself the chance to atleast see if there is a lasting connection and something worth pursuing. It is also more spontaneous and a natural way for both of you to meet, it allows more time for you to screen each other on a less vigorous basis and to make a choice of whether to see each other again – it’s the right way to meet a girl.

Now picture sending an email to the same girl through a dating site where she most likely receives hundreds of other emails the same week or month. She may decide to open your email and check your profile, but then she is immediately screening you for everything going on in your life and to hell with you as a person, to hell with your true personality, it doesn’t matter online!

Online dating is for people that have not put enough effort into finding someone offline, try work on your real social life and you will be presented with plenty of opportunities to meet women and talk to them. It really is a disconnection from our true identity as social and physical beings.

So what about the plus side of online dating? Well from a real man’s perspective there are no pluses. It can deprive us of our urge to venture out and naturally seek a girlfriend using our personalities and social skills. To me it is a lifeless route to finding someone to share your life with or even just to share a good time with.

What about safety?

As men we are always going to feel physically safe when approaching and meeting women so security isn’t even a plus for dating sites, the same can’t be said for women so online dating does have that supposed feeling of security for them. Therefore as men it is our responsibility to make a woman feel as comfortable and safe as possible in our company.

The verdict is simple:

The internet can be a great tool for catching up with existing friends and girlfriends if your too far away to say hello…

But don’t get caught up in the online dating scene, make more of an effort to discover yourself and to meet girls offline, I guarantee you will feel far better about doing so than hiding behind a computer. You will also dramatically improve your social skills compared to sending random emails out to the few top girls who have an online dating profile.