Attract Love – By Being Yourself
If you don’t master the art of being yourself you will never be truly happy with any girl in your life…
Sounds scary doesn’t it? Well maybe at first, until you realise how amazing it is to act as you feel like doing and not as you have been taught or told to act like.
There is a huge misconception we all experience in life towards a common piece of advice. When you ask many people ‘how do I attract the right girl into my life?’ or ‘how do I find true love?‘, most people will tell you just be yourself and you will meet the right girl. What most people don’t realise is that you as a man may not be in the right state of mind to understand this advice.
You can end up even more confused as right now being yourself may not have brought you much success. The simple explanation is that you are not really being your true self when you interact with girls in the first place and so in fact this advice is not wrong, it just need’s more explaining…
Think about it this way, when you see a girl you like do you:
- Approach her when you feel like it?
- Tell her what you really want to tell her or do you tell her what you have been told by society or others to say?
- Act relaxed like when your around friends? If you really like her surely you should be able to relax around her right?
- Put the effort into the conversation and interaction to make it fun or do you expect a rise out of her for muttering a few words under your breath?
- Treat the interaction as a new and potentially exciting experience with the uncertainty providing the spark and not the worry?
- Feel good when you talk to her?
- Smile?
- Laugh?
- Lead the way?
As men we are born to do all these things. Yes we may express these feelings and actions in a variety of ways but the foundation is always the same. To be yourself is to really master these actions and your emotions, when you do, you feel fantastic. Not because you will always get the outcome you expect, but you will be acting on impulse and following your desires, in which case you will be taking proactive action to get what you want.
There is nothing more disheartening or unsatisfying than acting in a false or preprogrammed manner to manipulate others. Doing so will leave you feeling a fraud, with little power or identity and at worse you will attract the wrong girl and end up in a relationship with that just doesn’t fit with you as a person.
You should always be acting exactly as you feel like doing and you should feel good about being yourself. If you follow the pack or follow the ‘BS’ messages projected by society or the media, you will end up in generic relationships with crap girls who don’t suit your personality.
However if you learn to express your true self you will soon learn the feeling of liberation from which you will gain true inner strength.
The amount of phone numbers you get or dates you go on could go up or down, but that is not important when it comes to seeking out a happy and fulfilled relationship with a girl. What you will find is the amount of high quality women that will be attracted into your life will increase, women you can seriously consider starting a lasting and loving relationship with! High quality women are those that suit you and the chemistry between both of you will flow naturally, trust me…
Hopefully you have begun to understand what being yourself is more about, in which case next time someone tells you ‘Just Be Yourself!’ you should now see the real meaning behind such a simple answer.
This is very good advice. Works for women, too.
Awesome man!! Please share more things about it!!
Neil, it’s simple. We are taught from childhood that we are inadequate in some way.
Even if that’s not what our parents mean to do, as little children that’s what we understand.
Most of us tend to think that to succeed we must become something we are not.
I believe the more we are true to ourselves the better things become for our lives.
There is a book I am going to read called “Radical Honesty”. I have checked out the first couple of chapters, it’s really powerful.
All the best Neil!
This article is good when it says be yourself. I believe you should have a good idea of the kind of girl you want. It will help you not to choose the wrong ones, and when you think of the one you want, your mentality makes you behave in the way that you see yourself being when you are with this girl(whether you have already met her or not). Thus when you really meet this kind of person, their reaction to your genuine behaviour would be positive.
For example , we live in a cruel world where people can make fun of us. So some boys try to attract girls by lying( “my father is a millionaire” etc). Thus they get girls who may not really love them.
But when you aim to have a girlfriend who accepts you for who you are, when you imagine how you want her to treat you,and when you start expecting this behaviour from women, then you would not feel like telling lies to a girl that you have just met. And if the girl has the good heart, why, she could be attracted by your honesty. No need to lie. The right girl should be one who stays by you even in your difficulties.
So be yourself. These are just my suggestions. I’m still single though I have probably approached more than 100 women in the past 3 years(who all showed no interest or stood me up on a date). But rather than quickly get a bad girlfriend, I prefer to get a good one even if it takes longer. I just keep on imagining what she looks like, how she behaves and what we do together. It helps me to filter away girls who do not meet my criteria.